Today's first campcraft training.
It's tough, I think.
It's been weeks where we had parades.
After today's training,
I went home with many new "openings" in me.
I feel horrible seeing them.
Especially when bathing,
the moment they touch water,
they start to bite.
Fortunately, the wounds are mostly on my right hand.
There's only one wound that bites on my left hand.
At least when I bathe,
I wouldn't need my tongue to put shower foam all over me.
It's only then I realise that being able to have both limbs is a very fortunate thing.

Ok, so where should I start from?
Ppl, I feel very disappointed of you guys.
For all the years that I've lived,
you guys are the only failure that I've ever had.

Just about the sergeant test for tomorrow.
For those who have not gotten their corporal,
you can't take the sergeant one.
But for those who can take this test need your help.
Why do you guys have so many questions about it?
I know it's really injustice for you guys to just come for the sake of the rest.
But they are your squadmates.
You people don't help just for the sake of helping.
You will help for the sake of your teammates, your friends.
Yes, you can give me hundred and one reasons why you can't go tomorrow.
But who will pay the prices for this?
Not you, but your squadmates!
I'm not saying this because I'll be the one taking the test.
I'm sure that even if I'm not taking the test tomorrow,
I will also go to school tomorrow just to help.

You may feel that I said that because this situation hasn't happened on me.
But that doesn't mean that I've not sacrificed myself for you guys before.
Know something?
Nowadays, I feel that I'm going crazy.
Someday you may even have to visit me in woodbridge.
Coz during today's training, I saw some bricks.
And all of the sudden, out of thin air,
I suddenly have this idea of wanting to pick up those bricks and throw at someone.
I don't know why this is happening,
and I don't want this to happen.
I don't want to hurt any one beside me.
But you guys are hurting me again and again.
I just hope to receive the respect I should be having from you guys.
Like today's cc training, while teaching the sec 2s the flagpole,
I have to remember the time for you all.
I rush you all, someone say I'm not the sec 3 IC.
Fine. Then I just let you guys your own time.
How long did you guys take?
Have you all ever thought that at the speed that we are doing,
we'll never get our cc badge and the cc competition I think we may not even be able to get through the qualifying rounds.
Indeed, you all have improved.
From ever since we have done cc, for now you all can tie the knots for the tent alr.
It's good.
But you all take too long.

You all always tell me that I'm getting the posts that I should receive.
But this is the respect you all are giving me.
I feel just invisible to all of you.
No matter it's planning, courses, or even doing work for your badges,
I've to always keep reminding you all,
keep pushing you all.
I seriously feel tired of all this.
Very tired.
You all can tell me that you don't like your posts.
But do I like mine?
I'm trying to fulfill whateva I'm given.
You all always say that I have the capability of doing a good job out of my post.
But remember, I'm also a 15 yr old youth.
You need your fun, you need your freedom.
That means I don't need?
No matter how capable I am, I'm only 15.
Ever since sec 2, every day after school, when I reach home the first thing I would think of is NP, not my studies.
And my parents will scold me everyday for putting too much time in NP.
Yes, I chose this path myself, I'm never regretful of it either.
In fact, I've enjoyed all I've committed for NP.
Maybe most of you think NP is not important.
You think you put NP as third choice in sec 1.
If you don't like you, you don't want to commit, why did you choose it in the first place?

Maybe I'm too tolerent and lenient to you guys that you guys climb over my head.
If you guys continue like that, one day you will just have to visit me in woodbridge.
I seriously hope that this day won't come.